The costly lessons when we ignore our emotional authority

Expensive group programs, canceled holidays and (still tbd) house colors

Rose cottage becomes blue cottage!

In Human Design my authority - which determines how we best make decisions - is emotional intuition. And let me tell you, as someone who has always prided herself in her ability to be spontaneous, the ‘sleep on it’ recommendation is not gelling with me. Yet I can see how exactly that would have saved me a lot of money over the years!

Emotional authority is rooted in our solar plexus, if it is defined (i.e. not white in your HD chart) then you have it. This is btw not just for Projectors, other HD types can also have a definted solar plexus. As ‘emotional’ beings (apparently 50% of us) we are meant to ride the full wave of emotions, but not act on them when we’re at the high or low point of the wave. So when we feel excited and happy, or anxious, or even angry… wait with the big decisions. Wait until we’re in a more neutral place where we have what is often referred to as ‘emotional clarity.’

Waiting to make a decision is often seen as procrastination and I think that’s what makes it so hard for me at times because who wants to be a procrastinator? And then there is the flipside, making decisions quickly because we live in such a reactive, fast-paced world these days where people expect - and promise - instant results, like immediate answers to emails, or lose 10 lbs in two days, or act now before this amazing offer expires or the price goes up!

I also feel that my emotional authority has often been in conflict with my 3/5 trial and error personality as many of my decisions to try something new (a job, a home, a country!) were made at the height or low point of my emotional wave. And even though these decisions were not always the wise ones and indeed made too hastily, they were all important pieces that added to the sum total of my experiences that got me to where I am today - like a big puzzle they all fell into their right place eventually.

What I am learning this year is that, for me, there are three decision makers to watch out for:

1. Urgency

2. Feeling rushed

3. Feeling pressure

The first one made me buy a rather expensive online program that had an early bird deadline. Using deadlines is of course nothing unusual in our online world. I use them myself when I launch a new product or have a sale. I just don’t like it when they are rammed down my throat with endless countdown clocks and urgent emails. This program did not do that but nonetheless, there was a deadline, and it was not aligned with my emotional clarity. I was riding a bit of a high when I decided that this program was going to be perfect for the exciting new journey I was embarking upon. When I came off my high and started the program I quickly realized that it was not right for me. Which I probably would have known had I taken just a bit more time to listen into myself.

When I booked a hotel in Germany for the trip that is now canceled I was feeling rushed because I had left it rather late to organize all the logistics. As a result I didn’t read the small print that the rate was non-refundable and the dates couldn’t be changed, either. I had booked a whole week so that was a good chunk of money. Ouch. Had I waited for a more neutral, less rushed place, I would have remembered that it is never a good idea for me to commit to things too far in advance - because something might change, including my mind! - and that paying a bit extra to get more flexibility is always worth it.

The white trim still needs to be done, and we’re adding a pergoda over the deck, and of course new landscaping.

Finally, the pressure to make a decision. In this case the color of our house that we are currently renovating. Now, we did do our due diligence and researched colors and got samples that we painted onto the house. We liked them but none of them was a 100% YES for either of us. Alas, we had to make a decision so that the contractors could continue working. So we went with the one I, and most of our neighbors, preferred. However, I was not in a neutral place about it, I was feeling pressure and then “whatever, let’s just get on with it.” Let me just say, we do not hate the color and depending on the light we like it a lot. It certainly beats the Crest toothpase color we had before! However, it’s much darker than we expected, and also bluer. I had a certain color in my mind, more tealy and green, and wish we had done just a bit more research, taken a bit more time to allow our emotions to give us the big YES. Alas, what is done, is done. We cannot afford to reverse this decision and at least we both feel like this color is going to grow on us, especially once the white trim is done, the pergoda added and the landscaping finished. It will be our sweet blue cottage 💙

While all of these were fairly costly lessons, they were good lessons nonetheless. It is so interesting to me that there is still so much for me to learn, even at this advanced stage of my life. Or perhaps not even to learn, but to truly understand, and honor, how I tick and operate in this world.

☞ Read more about the seven authorities in Human Design.